1
00:00:01,169 --> 00:00:04,075
♪ I'm Craig ♪

2
00:00:04,208 --> 00:00:05,778
♪ And I'm walking along ♪

3
00:00:05,912 --> 00:00:07,682
♪ And I got some stuff
for my wife ♪

4
00:00:09,118 --> 00:00:10,889
Cora? Thaddeus?

5
00:00:10,989 --> 00:00:12,391
I don't know what to say.

6
00:00:12,491 --> 00:00:14,361
You could say
this isn't what it looks like.

7
00:00:14,462 --> 00:00:16,333
But it is
what it looks like.

8
00:00:16,433 --> 00:00:18,671
I called it!

9
00:00:18,771 --> 00:00:20,775
I knew he'd catch her.

10
00:00:20,909 --> 00:00:22,111
Oh, that hurts.

11
00:00:22,211 --> 00:00:23,715
Hey, the good news is
you found a woman

12
00:00:23,848 --> 00:00:24,984
who will never lie to you.

13
00:00:25,117 --> 00:00:27,254
My wife,
she lies to me all the time.

14
00:00:27,354 --> 00:00:29,191
What a great idea, Athena,

15
00:00:29,291 --> 00:00:31,897
betting on the mundane
everyday decisions of mortals.

16
00:00:31,997 --> 00:00:35,370
They're just the right amount
of stupidly unpredictable.

17
00:00:35,505 --> 00:00:37,008
Wait, wait, it's not over.

18
00:00:37,108 --> 00:00:38,711
This is... I just...

19
00:00:40,180 --> 00:00:41,684
I had "storms out"!

20
00:00:41,784 --> 00:00:42,819
Oh, this is fun.

21
00:00:42,920 --> 00:00:44,923
Damn!
I had "kills everybody."

22
00:00:45,024 --> 00:00:46,794
Oopsie,
that's for the house.

23
00:00:46,894 --> 00:00:49,132
I had "offers himself sexually."

24
00:00:49,232 --> 00:00:50,568
Ooh, tough break.

25
00:00:50,668 --> 00:00:51,837
That's more for the house.

26
00:00:51,970 --> 00:00:53,473
It really is good
to be the house.

27
00:00:53,607 --> 00:00:55,210
All right, next up is...

28
00:00:55,311 --> 00:00:59,886
Ted, who just found something,
like, super weird in his salad.

29
00:00:59,986 --> 00:01:02,893
He's gonna eat it.
He's gonna eat that thing!

30
00:01:02,993 --> 00:01:04,295
Ah! I've got this one.

31
00:01:04,395 --> 00:01:07,536
Um, haven't you
already lost everything?

32
00:01:07,636 --> 00:01:09,939
Not everything.

33
00:01:10,040 --> 00:01:11,076
Do it!

34
00:01:11,176 --> 00:01:12,344
No, he's gonna eat it!

35
00:01:12,478 --> 00:01:14,282
Baby,
you know you want to!

36
00:01:14,382 --> 00:01:15,885
Eat it!
Just put it
in your num-num box.

37
00:01:15,985 --> 00:01:17,088
There you go.
Eat it!

38
00:01:17,188 --> 00:01:18,558
Yes!

39
00:01:18,658 --> 00:01:19,960
Yes, Ted, yes!

40
00:01:20,060 --> 00:01:24,736
I had
"eats it, likes it,
and digs around for more."

41
00:01:24,836 --> 00:01:26,006
Trifecta!

42
00:01:26,106 --> 00:01:27,776
I had
"goes to the other guy's place

43
00:01:27,876 --> 00:01:29,279
"and offers himself sexually."

44
00:01:29,379 --> 00:01:30,915
The other guy
from the other bet?

45
00:01:31,015 --> 00:01:32,184
Apollo, shut up.

46
00:01:32,284 --> 00:01:34,255
Oh, so sorry, Shlub.

47
00:01:34,355 --> 00:01:37,161
Looks like I've totally
cleaned you out... again.

48
00:01:37,261 --> 00:01:38,931
No, no, no,
let me stay in.

49
00:01:39,065 --> 00:01:40,769
I'm happy
to let you stay in,

50
00:01:40,869 --> 00:01:41,971
but what have you got to bet?

51
00:01:42,071 --> 00:01:43,205
What do I have to bet?

52
00:01:43,206 --> 00:01:45,177
One night with me.

53
00:01:45,277 --> 00:01:47,146
I would have
to compromise my morals,

54
00:01:47,147 --> 00:01:48,651
but that only makes it hotter.

55
00:01:48,751 --> 00:01:50,588
Shlub, you know
you'd give me that for free.

56
00:01:50,689 --> 00:01:53,393
Want to bet? If I lose,
you get to sleep with me again.

57
00:01:53,528 --> 00:01:55,030
I'm not interested
in something

58
00:01:55,163 --> 00:01:57,034
everyone in the world
can have for nothing.

59
00:01:57,167 --> 00:01:59,037
I say
walk away now, dude.

60
00:01:59,171 --> 00:02:00,608
You do not want
to do something stupid

61
00:02:00,741 --> 00:02:02,712
like betting away
your uncle's trident.

62
00:02:02,812 --> 00:02:04,248
He's gonna be so mad at me.

63
00:02:04,382 --> 00:02:06,786
That's the one bad thing
about gambling.

64
00:02:06,787 --> 00:02:08,122
It destroys families.

65
00:02:08,256 --> 00:02:10,862
We can bet
family members' stuff?

66
00:02:10,962 --> 00:02:12,497
Opa!

67
00:02:37,381 --> 00:02:39,052
Dad, what are you doing?

68
00:02:39,152 --> 00:02:41,857
Just having some fun
doing a little rummaging,
that's all.

69
00:02:41,957 --> 00:02:44,830
Hey, don't you have a bunch
of highly valuable items

70
00:02:44,930 --> 00:02:46,499
you stole from Hades?

71
00:02:46,600 --> 00:02:48,370
Don't you have
multiple treasure chests
of your own?

72
00:02:48,470 --> 00:02:50,608
Not anymore, and there's
no explanation for that,

73
00:02:50,708 --> 00:02:52,178
so don't even think
about digging.

74
00:02:52,278 --> 00:02:53,346
Where's your crown?

75
00:02:53,446 --> 00:02:55,350
I lent it to a dying kid.

76
00:02:55,450 --> 00:02:56,954
It was his last wish.

77
00:02:57,088 --> 00:02:58,355
What's this thing?

78
00:02:58,356 --> 00:02:59,893
A truth-telling gem. Very rare.

79
00:03:00,026 --> 00:03:01,396
Ah, well,
when you're not looking,

80
00:03:01,496 --> 00:03:03,265
I'm going to steal it from you

81
00:03:03,266 --> 00:03:05,639
to pay off
my massive gambling debt.

82
00:03:05,739 --> 00:03:06,640
Damn it!

83
00:03:06,773 --> 00:03:08,276
You're gambling again!

84
00:03:08,376 --> 00:03:10,413
Yes, to relieve
the stress of being king.

85
00:03:10,515 --> 00:03:14,255
It takes such a toll on you
eating all those glitzy meats.

86
00:03:14,355 --> 00:03:16,025
You're not built for gambling.

87
00:03:16,125 --> 00:03:17,361
You have no impulse control.

88
00:03:17,461 --> 00:03:18,864
Ha, well,
if you believe that,

89
00:03:18,964 --> 00:03:20,133
you've underestimated

90
00:03:20,267 --> 00:03:22,338
both the force and breadth
of my impulses.

91
00:03:22,471 --> 00:03:24,008
Look,
I'll prove it to you.

92
00:03:24,108 --> 00:03:25,411
Here's a piece of baklava.

93
00:03:25,512 --> 00:03:27,381
You can have
two pieces of baklava if you--

94
00:03:27,481 --> 00:03:29,920
Mmm! Mmm! Mmm!

95
00:03:30,020 --> 00:03:31,423
Well, I could have
proved you wrong,

96
00:03:31,557 --> 00:03:33,861
but then I'd be playing
your game and not mine.

97
00:03:33,994 --> 00:03:35,364
Dad, how much do you owe?

98
00:03:35,464 --> 00:03:37,836
Not much. In fact,
this little gem should cover it.

99
00:03:37,969 --> 00:03:41,275
Also, I didn't give my crown
to a dying kid.

100
00:03:41,375 --> 00:03:43,046
I lost it at the casino.

101
00:03:43,179 --> 00:03:44,248
And that kid wasn't ill.

102
00:03:44,348 --> 00:03:45,752
He was just very drunk.

103
00:03:45,852 --> 00:03:47,287
Ah, double damn it!

104
00:03:47,288 --> 00:03:48,423
This tricked me again!

105
00:03:48,524 --> 00:03:49,893
Does Mom know?

106
00:03:49,993 --> 00:03:51,530
No, I can't let her
see me in this state.

107
00:03:51,663 --> 00:03:53,634
Besides, if she can spend
all day at the spa,

108
00:03:53,734 --> 00:03:56,039
why can't I spend it
at the casino?

109
00:03:56,139 --> 00:03:57,407
Ugh, what a mess.

110
00:03:57,575 --> 00:03:59,078
All right, we're going
to fix this right now.

111
00:03:59,178 --> 00:04:00,615
Where's Ty when you need him?

112
00:04:00,782 --> 00:04:01,584
Rhetorical question.

113
00:04:01,684 --> 00:04:03,019
He's on a boat for some reason.

114
00:04:03,119 --> 00:04:05,124
What do you need
all this rope for anyway?

115
00:04:05,224 --> 00:04:07,094
Today's the day
I finally do it.

116
00:04:07,194 --> 00:04:09,331
Yes!
You're getting into macrame.

117
00:04:09,465 --> 00:04:10,902
No,
I'm finally setting sail

118
00:04:11,002 --> 00:04:12,271
on my maiden voyage.

119
00:04:12,371 --> 00:04:13,708
What is this,
to impress Viscera or something?

120
00:04:13,841 --> 00:04:17,314
Impress--? Pfft!
Viscera? Come on.

121
00:04:17,414 --> 00:04:19,085
Hey, Ty.
Oh, hey, Viscera.

122
00:04:19,218 --> 00:04:20,789
Just loading up here
to go sailing,

123
00:04:20,922 --> 00:04:23,426
which is something
I do in my blood, really.

124
00:04:23,527 --> 00:04:26,132
Um, OK, well,
that's kind of weird.

125
00:04:26,232 --> 00:04:27,434
Wait, this doesn't have
anything to do

126
00:04:27,535 --> 00:04:29,270
with the sex dream
I told you about

127
00:04:29,271 --> 00:04:31,309
with the sailor.
Sex dre--?

128
00:04:31,409 --> 00:04:34,448
I sort of remember that, maybe.

129
00:04:34,582 --> 00:04:35,984
No, I planned this trip

130
00:04:35,985 --> 00:04:38,090
long before you told me
about the sexy dream sailor.

131
00:04:38,190 --> 00:04:39,860
All right, whatever.

132
00:04:39,960 --> 00:04:41,061
Well, good luck.

133
00:04:41,062 --> 00:04:42,832
You know what? I'm realizing...

134
00:04:42,965 --> 00:04:44,569
I hope you don't die.

135
00:04:44,669 --> 00:04:47,575
Aw.
So,
it's not about her, huh?

136
00:04:47,675 --> 00:04:49,445
Yes, it's about her.
Of course it is.

137
00:04:49,546 --> 00:04:50,915
There are these flowers
that only grow

138
00:04:51,015 --> 00:04:52,585
on the peak of Gavdos Island,

139
00:04:52,686 --> 00:04:55,190
and some say you're not a true
seaman until you've picked one.

140
00:04:55,323 --> 00:04:56,860
And, I don't know,
I just have this fantasy

141
00:04:56,960 --> 00:04:58,798
of pulling into port
with one of those flowers

142
00:04:58,898 --> 00:05:01,971
and Viscera's
waiting for me proudly and...

143
00:05:02,071 --> 00:05:04,108
You stopped listening
after seaman, didn't you?

144
00:05:04,208 --> 00:05:05,276
Yeah.

145
00:05:05,377 --> 00:05:08,116
But, Ty,
Gavdos is a really tough sail,

146
00:05:08,216 --> 00:05:09,620
and you are not a sailor.

147
00:05:09,786 --> 00:05:11,757
Sailing isn't just for sailors
and criminals anymore.

148
00:05:11,857 --> 00:05:14,161
Children of wealth and privilege
can do it, too.

149
00:05:14,261 --> 00:05:15,598
What, you don't think
I can make it?

150
00:05:15,732 --> 00:05:17,802
No, I mean,
I'm sure you could do anything,

151
00:05:17,902 --> 00:05:21,242
but this houseboat, uh,
the railings are splintery,

152
00:05:21,342 --> 00:05:23,714
that rudder seems too,
uh, ruddery.

153
00:05:23,814 --> 00:05:26,386
And look at the weak spot
on the deck.

154
00:05:26,520 --> 00:05:28,558
Man, I love how strong I am.

155
00:05:28,658 --> 00:05:30,260
I know
you don't think I can do it,

156
00:05:30,427 --> 00:05:31,663
but this is important to me,
Stupe.

157
00:05:31,664 --> 00:05:33,132
Then,
why don't I come along?

158
00:05:33,232 --> 00:05:34,569
I don't need a babysitter.

159
00:05:34,669 --> 00:05:35,972
Not to babysit.

160
00:05:36,105 --> 00:05:39,211
It's not like I think
you'll 100% definitely drown

161
00:05:39,311 --> 00:05:40,648
if I don't go with you.

162
00:05:40,748 --> 00:05:42,986
I just think
you could use a first mate.

163
00:05:43,086 --> 00:05:47,528
Chicks love a captain
who's got a first mate.

164
00:05:47,628 --> 00:05:50,133
Ew, now he has
something weird in his chicken.

165
00:05:50,233 --> 00:05:51,570
Oh, it's a worm.
I think it's a worm!

166
00:05:51,670 --> 00:05:53,172
Oh,
he's gonna eat that, too.

167
00:05:53,306 --> 00:05:54,575
You're betting on people?

168
00:05:54,676 --> 00:05:56,211
Of course
you're betting on people.

169
00:05:56,212 --> 00:05:57,414
I've got a system,

170
00:05:57,549 --> 00:05:58,684
and if you would lend me
your trinkets,

171
00:05:58,784 --> 00:06:00,354
I'll pay you back and then some.

172
00:06:00,521 --> 00:06:02,290
You're betting
on everyone to have sex,
aren't you?

173
00:06:02,424 --> 00:06:03,859
It's where everything
is headed.

174
00:06:03,860 --> 00:06:06,165
Athena,
clearly my dad has a problem.

175
00:06:06,298 --> 00:06:07,602
Don't you have a thing

176
00:06:07,702 --> 00:06:08,971
where if people get
in huge enough trouble,

177
00:06:09,071 --> 00:06:11,676
you go, "Hey,
maybe gambling's not for you?"

178
00:06:11,677 --> 00:06:13,146
I want them in trouble.

179
00:06:13,280 --> 00:06:14,816
Do you not understand
how this works?

180
00:06:14,949 --> 00:06:16,820
Yeah, sure,
but at a certain point,

181
00:06:16,920 --> 00:06:18,456
shouldn't you be like,
"All right,

182
00:06:18,591 --> 00:06:20,962
"this has gone too far,
let's call it even"?

183
00:06:21,095 --> 00:06:22,833
So, you don't understand
how this works.

184
00:06:22,999 --> 00:06:25,236
Just give him his crown back,
and we'll leave.

185
00:06:25,336 --> 00:06:27,140
Athena
don't give back bets.

186
00:06:27,240 --> 00:06:28,408
When I ran out of money,

187
00:06:28,409 --> 00:06:30,414
she started taking fingers,
then legs.

188
00:06:30,515 --> 00:06:32,518
I bet all 20 legs and lost them.

189
00:06:32,618 --> 00:06:34,087
Why didn't you
stop at, like, 9?

190
00:06:34,088 --> 00:06:36,860
It's called
having a winner's spirit.

191
00:06:36,960 --> 00:06:38,362
He wouldn't understand that.

192
00:06:38,462 --> 00:06:39,965
How much is a finger worth?

193
00:06:39,966 --> 00:06:41,570
What exactly does he owe you?

194
00:06:41,737 --> 00:06:43,574
We'll settle up
and get out of here.

195
00:06:43,674 --> 00:06:45,276
Oh, we're settling up.
Let me see.

196
00:06:45,376 --> 00:06:47,415
He lost his entire treasury,
this braid.

197
00:06:47,582 --> 00:06:49,018
Ah!
And...

198
00:06:49,151 --> 00:06:51,990
Oh, right, your palace.

199
00:06:52,090 --> 00:06:53,527
Still want to settle up?

200
00:06:53,627 --> 00:06:54,896
Oh, you don't know
who you're toying with.

201
00:06:54,996 --> 00:06:56,466
I'll play your silly games,
Athena,

202
00:06:56,567 --> 00:06:59,071
and I'll win it all back,
fair and square.

203
00:06:59,171 --> 00:07:00,473
How fun.

204
00:07:00,574 --> 00:07:02,545
That's the spirit, son.
I'll chip in.

205
00:07:02,546 --> 00:07:03,848
No, Dad, stop!

206
00:07:03,981 --> 00:07:05,985
I'll be the one gambling,
on one condition.

207
00:07:06,085 --> 00:07:07,287
I choose who we bet on next.

208
00:07:07,387 --> 00:07:08,557
Click over to the docks.

209
00:07:08,658 --> 00:07:10,027
I'm not usually
in the business

210
00:07:10,127 --> 00:07:11,596
of letting the players
set the terms here,

211
00:07:11,730 --> 00:07:13,199
but I'll make an exception
if it means

212
00:07:13,299 --> 00:07:17,239
I can bankrupt
Deliria's whole family.

213
00:07:17,240 --> 00:07:19,210
That poor sap
looks like my son.

214
00:07:19,211 --> 00:07:20,748
Dad, it is your son,

215
00:07:20,848 --> 00:07:22,351
and I think
I know him well enough

216
00:07:22,451 --> 00:07:24,321
to get our money back.
Let's find out.

217
00:07:24,421 --> 00:07:26,358
Damn,
every time I think I'm out,

218
00:07:26,458 --> 00:07:28,698
they reel me back in.

219
00:07:28,798 --> 00:07:31,503
I'm betting my uncle Poseidon's
favorite dolphin!

220
00:07:31,637 --> 00:07:33,774
Do not ask me
why it's his favorite.

221
00:07:37,549 --> 00:07:38,483
What do you think
about these conditions?

222
00:07:38,684 --> 00:07:41,455
You don't think today
might be a bad day to set off?

223
00:07:41,556 --> 00:07:43,794
- Huh? In what way?
- Weather's not the best.

224
00:07:43,894 --> 00:07:45,530
Water looks
especially wet today,

225
00:07:45,531 --> 00:07:47,702
and we're basically
surrounded by sharks.

226
00:07:47,802 --> 00:07:50,173
They say the big ones
are the most aggressive.

227
00:07:50,273 --> 00:07:52,845
Oh, that dude
isn't leaving the dock. No way.

228
00:07:52,945 --> 00:07:54,649
Well, of course
he's not leaving the dock,

229
00:07:54,749 --> 00:07:56,686
but what's his final excuse
gonna be?

230
00:07:56,820 --> 00:07:58,489
My money's on "bad knee."

231
00:07:58,624 --> 00:08:00,795
Guys are always
talking about bad knees.

232
00:08:00,895 --> 00:08:02,997
Hippo, I've got
a strong feeling about this.

233
00:08:02,998 --> 00:08:06,005
Whatever the excuse is,
it will be genital-related.

234
00:08:06,105 --> 00:08:08,243
Dad!
I know Ty better than you.

235
00:08:08,343 --> 00:08:09,913
Let me concentrate.

236
00:08:10,013 --> 00:08:12,016
Even though
he's really good at it,

237
00:08:12,117 --> 00:08:13,352
Ty hates failing,

238
00:08:13,486 --> 00:08:15,323
but Stupe is there,
and that works for us

239
00:08:15,457 --> 00:08:16,961
because Ty
will want to appear strong,

240
00:08:17,061 --> 00:08:19,131
and sure, he'll probably die
out in the water

241
00:08:19,231 --> 00:08:20,433
after saying something dumb

242
00:08:20,535 --> 00:08:22,337
like, "Upward, onward,
and all aboard,"

243
00:08:22,437 --> 00:08:25,277
but Ty needs to win, so...

244
00:08:25,410 --> 00:08:27,548
Ty's leaving that dock.

245
00:08:27,648 --> 00:08:32,457
Upward, onward, downward,
sideward, and away we go.

246
00:08:32,458 --> 00:08:34,194
Doo-doo-doo.

247
00:08:34,295 --> 00:08:35,697
Hmm, I was close.

248
00:08:35,831 --> 00:08:37,467
Give us a push, Stupe.
Aye-aye, Captain.

249
00:08:37,569 --> 00:08:38,837
All right.

250
00:08:38,937 --> 00:08:42,377
Gonna be a long night.

251
00:08:42,477 --> 00:08:44,013
We hit big
when Ty didn't throw up,

252
00:08:44,014 --> 00:08:46,519
took a small loss
on not stubbing his toe,

253
00:08:46,653 --> 00:08:47,988
but made it back

254
00:08:48,088 --> 00:08:49,692
on him not hitting a big wave
while picking his nose,

255
00:08:49,793 --> 00:08:51,697
which shoves his finger
into his brain.

256
00:08:51,797 --> 00:08:53,065
Would have paid huge!

257
00:08:53,165 --> 00:08:55,470
Let's put it all
on agonizing shin splint

258
00:08:55,571 --> 00:08:58,009
he relieves the pain of
with self-pleasure.

259
00:08:58,142 --> 00:08:59,211
Dad, no.

260
00:08:59,311 --> 00:09:00,715
We make small, realistic bets,

261
00:09:00,815 --> 00:09:02,852
play the probabilities,
and manage the risk.

262
00:09:02,953 --> 00:09:04,689
That's how we chip away
at this debt.

263
00:09:04,823 --> 00:09:06,860
Like, for example,
he's got to tie off that rudder,

264
00:09:06,960 --> 00:09:08,764
but that rope
looks pretty gnarly,

265
00:09:08,864 --> 00:09:11,300
so I'm gonna play the odds
on rope burn.

266
00:09:11,301 --> 00:09:14,575
Ow! You first got to invent
something to protect hands.

267
00:09:14,676 --> 00:09:15,978
This can't go on.

268
00:09:16,078 --> 00:09:18,183
Bingo!
And hand pants is brilliant.

269
00:09:18,283 --> 00:09:19,852
Note to self, invent hand pants.

270
00:09:19,952 --> 00:09:21,723
You're pretty good
at this, huh?

271
00:09:21,890 --> 00:09:24,128
Just simple odds.
And betting without emotion.

272
00:09:24,228 --> 00:09:26,733
Sure. It's easy
when the stakes are so low.

273
00:09:26,833 --> 00:09:28,571
Oh, there it is.
Yeah, trying to suck me

274
00:09:28,738 --> 00:09:30,941
into a bigger bet is
not gonna work. Sorry.

275
00:09:31,041 --> 00:09:33,345
I was trying to suck you
into more fun, but whatever.

276
00:09:33,446 --> 00:09:35,651
I'm also not worried
about being perceived

277
00:09:35,751 --> 00:09:37,253
as a stick in the mud.

278
00:09:37,353 --> 00:09:38,757
Oh, so you're just chicken.

279
00:09:38,857 --> 00:09:40,795
Nobody calls me a chicken!

280
00:09:40,895 --> 00:09:44,267
Ah, his old weakness,
which he's always had.

281
00:09:44,367 --> 00:09:46,606
All in on Ty
making it to that island.

282
00:09:46,607 --> 00:09:48,643
Hippo,
you said realistic bets.

283
00:09:48,644 --> 00:09:51,448
Well, how about something
like "Ty eats falafel"?

284
00:09:51,549 --> 00:09:52,785
Ty's committed to this,

285
00:09:52,885 --> 00:09:54,421
and when something
is important to Ty,

286
00:09:54,523 --> 00:09:56,125
he'll move mountains to get it.
I hope.

287
00:09:56,225 --> 00:09:58,997
Then I'll put something
on "Ty moves a mountain."

288
00:09:59,097 --> 00:10:01,367
Dad...
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Hold your horses.

289
00:10:01,368 --> 00:10:03,907
Sexually.

290
00:10:04,041 --> 00:10:06,179
Ah, it's nice
to see fellow sailors.

291
00:10:06,279 --> 00:10:09,117
Makes you feel less alone
out on the open seas.

292
00:10:09,218 --> 00:10:12,257
You have supplies
in this houseboat, correct?

293
00:10:12,358 --> 00:10:13,593
Correct.

294
00:10:13,693 --> 00:10:14,796
Would any of those supplies

295
00:10:14,896 --> 00:10:16,232
happen to be a trained navy?

296
00:10:16,332 --> 00:10:17,635
Aside from me.

297
00:10:17,735 --> 00:10:19,805
I've got a bottle opener
that's shaped like a lobster.

298
00:10:19,806 --> 00:10:21,475
Okay, well, I'm gonna stretch,

299
00:10:21,576 --> 00:10:22,912
because that ship
full of pirates

300
00:10:23,013 --> 00:10:24,949
is definitely
gonna try to kill us.

301
00:10:25,049 --> 00:10:26,553
Pirates?
Pirates?

302
00:10:26,686 --> 00:10:28,456
There's no pirates
in that part of the sea.

303
00:10:28,557 --> 00:10:29,926
I know, right?

304
00:10:30,026 --> 00:10:31,495
Crazy.

305
00:10:31,596 --> 00:10:33,567
Hope your guy
can get through this one.

306
00:10:33,667 --> 00:10:35,638
They won't kill him
with Stupe there.

307
00:10:35,738 --> 00:10:37,942
Falling overboard
while trying to stab a guy

308
00:10:38,042 --> 00:10:40,715
with his lobster bottle opener
is tempting.

309
00:10:40,848 --> 00:10:43,152
Everyone!
Place your bets.

310
00:10:43,285 --> 00:10:44,488
Okay, OK!

311
00:10:44,623 --> 00:10:46,292
I'm going for "gets kidnapped,
makes friends with a parrot,

312
00:10:46,392 --> 00:10:49,131
"everyone gets so annoyed
hearing them talk to each other,

313
00:10:49,231 --> 00:10:51,168
"they give him back."

314
00:10:53,907 --> 00:10:55,209
Excuse you?

315
00:10:55,309 --> 00:10:56,379
Ahoy!

316
00:10:57,848 --> 00:11:00,287
Ahoy!
Dreaded Captain Blobbo here

317
00:11:00,387 --> 00:11:01,855
to do the typical pirate stuff.

318
00:11:01,856 --> 00:11:03,359
Take your things,
sink your boat.

319
00:11:03,492 --> 00:11:04,728
This is rum, you get it.

320
00:11:04,729 --> 00:11:06,498
Mr. Blobbo,
captain to captain,

321
00:11:06,599 --> 00:11:07,969
this is my first time
out in this boat,

322
00:11:08,069 --> 00:11:10,473
so could you possibly
come back another time?

323
00:11:10,574 --> 00:11:12,244
This journey
is really important to me.

324
00:11:12,344 --> 00:11:13,814
Give me!

325
00:11:15,984 --> 00:11:17,287
My lobster!

326
00:11:19,058 --> 00:11:21,129
Thanks.

327
00:11:21,229 --> 00:11:23,667
I deserve that!

328
00:11:23,767 --> 00:11:25,003
Go and sail us out of here

329
00:11:25,136 --> 00:11:27,575
while I kick
some bony pirate ass.

330
00:11:27,708 --> 00:11:29,110
Aw, man, she noticed.

331
00:11:34,087 --> 00:11:35,155
Ah!

332
00:11:37,127 --> 00:11:38,763
I bet those muscles sink!

333
00:11:38,897 --> 00:11:40,333
Toss her overboard!

334
00:11:43,306 --> 00:11:44,575
Hey, you guys like booty?

335
00:11:44,675 --> 00:11:45,945
That's kind
of your whole thing, right?

336
00:11:46,045 --> 00:11:48,215
Booty?
We love booty!

337
00:11:55,196 --> 00:11:56,264
Whoa.

338
00:11:57,535 --> 00:11:58,737
Looks like you don't know him

339
00:11:58,837 --> 00:12:00,006
as well as you thought.

340
00:12:00,106 --> 00:12:01,510
You win some,
you lose some.

341
00:12:01,610 --> 00:12:02,946
That's what makes gambling fun.

342
00:12:03,046 --> 00:12:04,615
You think
the losing part is fun?

343
00:12:04,749 --> 00:12:07,054
Oh,
like you've never got off
from being punished.

344
00:12:07,187 --> 00:12:10,160
Yeah, the psychology
of this addiction is nuts!

345
00:12:10,260 --> 00:12:13,099
Maybe if I lose enough
of my uncle's stuff,

346
00:12:13,199 --> 00:12:15,035
he'll, like, you know,
pay attention to me.

347
00:12:15,036 --> 00:12:16,471
Wait, isn't it weird

348
00:12:16,639 --> 00:12:17,974
that as soon
as we locked in our bet

349
00:12:17,975 --> 00:12:20,013
for Ty to make it to the island,
pirates showed up?

350
00:12:20,113 --> 00:12:21,550
Must be pirate season.

351
00:12:21,650 --> 00:12:23,520
That's not a thing!
I think she's cheating.

352
00:12:23,654 --> 00:12:25,223
Yeah,
of course she's cheating.

353
00:12:25,356 --> 00:12:27,227
But I wouldn't say anything
if I were you.

354
00:12:27,327 --> 00:12:30,534
I once accused her of cheating,
and this happened.

355
00:12:30,634 --> 00:12:32,037
What happened?

356
00:12:32,170 --> 00:12:33,607
Used to have a second head.

357
00:12:33,707 --> 00:12:35,010
The guy was a real jerk,

358
00:12:35,143 --> 00:12:37,982
but I loved him like a brother
who is also myself.

359
00:12:38,116 --> 00:12:40,320
Leave it to Athena
to ruin the opportunity

360
00:12:40,420 --> 00:12:41,690
for a wholesome threesome.

361
00:12:41,823 --> 00:12:43,794
I don't like this.
Ty got lucky with those pirates,

362
00:12:43,961 --> 00:12:45,731
but she'll kill him
for that money.

363
00:12:45,831 --> 00:12:47,802
That sounds bad
when you describe it that way.

364
00:12:47,968 --> 00:12:50,641
I'm describing it
the way it is.

365
00:12:50,774 --> 00:12:52,946
Ah, yes,
that's why it sounds so bad.

366
00:12:53,046 --> 00:12:54,949
But how do we beat a goddess?

367
00:12:55,082 --> 00:12:56,519
We know a goddess, too.

368
00:12:56,686 --> 00:12:58,189
No,
we are not telling your mother.

369
00:12:58,322 --> 00:13:00,828
Why?
Because she'd fly into a rage?

370
00:13:00,928 --> 00:13:03,099
Yes. Thank you, stranger.

371
00:13:03,199 --> 00:13:04,835
Deliria?
Mom!

372
00:13:04,836 --> 00:13:06,706
But I thought
you were at the spa.

373
00:13:06,806 --> 00:13:07,875
This place has a spa.

374
00:13:07,975 --> 00:13:09,812
Never been, but it's got one.

375
00:13:09,912 --> 00:13:11,715
Athena's always up
to some little scheme,

376
00:13:11,716 --> 00:13:13,719
and I intend
to bankrupt this one.

377
00:13:13,720 --> 00:13:16,692
Also, I'm a slut for roulette.

378
00:13:16,693 --> 00:13:18,096
You're not mad
I've been hiding

379
00:13:18,196 --> 00:13:20,132
a debilitating gambling problem?

380
00:13:20,266 --> 00:13:22,336
Oh, Shlub, please.
It's adorable!

381
00:13:22,337 --> 00:13:24,609
Like when a baby tries a lemon
for the first time

382
00:13:24,709 --> 00:13:25,978
but keeps taking bites.

383
00:13:26,111 --> 00:13:27,447
Why didn't you
help us out sooner?

384
00:13:27,548 --> 00:13:30,052
Because I was busy
playing roulette in disguise,

385
00:13:30,152 --> 00:13:33,259
quietly snapping up
all of Athena's bracelets.

386
00:13:33,359 --> 00:13:36,098
But now it's time for Momma
to take out her teat.

387
00:13:36,199 --> 00:13:39,337
I am so aroused,
I can hardly...

388
00:13:41,108 --> 00:13:42,544
Ah! There it is after all.

389
00:13:45,751 --> 00:13:48,121
Goddess Queen Deliria.

390
00:13:48,122 --> 00:13:50,359
I know
you've been coming in secret
for the past few months.

391
00:13:50,360 --> 00:13:52,297
I could smell
your cheap perfume.

392
00:13:52,397 --> 00:13:55,303
Just had to see
my dear friend's new gig.

393
00:13:55,436 --> 00:13:57,942
Bit of a downgrade
from being the god of war.

394
00:13:58,042 --> 00:13:59,846
Anything can be a war, bitch.

395
00:13:59,979 --> 00:14:01,315
Then grab a white flag,

396
00:14:01,415 --> 00:14:03,854
because my children
will make it to that island.

397
00:14:04,021 --> 00:14:06,058
No, Mom.
You got to fight Athena.

398
00:14:06,158 --> 00:14:09,933
Do magic.
Emulate the concept of caring.
Anything!

399
00:14:10,033 --> 00:14:11,736
But then
I wouldn't be beating her

400
00:14:11,870 --> 00:14:14,709
at her own game.

401
00:14:14,842 --> 00:14:16,278
Deal me in.

402
00:14:16,412 --> 00:14:18,115
So,
what do we all promise?

403
00:14:18,215 --> 00:14:20,186
No more pirating.

404
00:14:20,286 --> 00:14:22,157
Can we do
a little bit of pirating?

405
00:14:22,257 --> 00:14:24,629
No.
What about
during pirate season?

406
00:14:24,729 --> 00:14:27,200
That's not a thing.

407
00:14:27,300 --> 00:14:28,904
And make sure
you thank this nice boat

408
00:14:29,004 --> 00:14:30,340
of vacationing bankers

409
00:14:30,440 --> 00:14:32,143
who have agreed to take you
to the nearest port.

410
00:14:32,276 --> 00:14:33,947
I got to admit,
you're pretty good

411
00:14:34,048 --> 00:14:35,149
on the high seas.

412
00:14:35,316 --> 00:14:36,685
All it takes is motivation.

413
00:14:38,089 --> 00:14:39,357
Ty!
Oh, no.

414
00:14:39,457 --> 00:14:40,895
I'm not saying
anyone who doesn't make it

415
00:14:40,995 --> 00:14:42,230
on the high seas
isn't motivated enough.

416
00:14:42,330 --> 00:14:46,405
I'm just...
No! Ty! Look!

417
00:14:48,476 --> 00:14:50,179
A storm?

418
00:14:50,279 --> 00:14:51,482
Oh, bummer.

419
00:14:51,583 --> 00:14:52,918
I kind of liked Ty.

420
00:14:53,018 --> 00:14:54,254
He had good taste in music.

421
00:14:54,354 --> 00:14:55,657
Not a bummer at all.

422
00:14:55,824 --> 00:14:56,893
Finally some excitement.

423
00:14:56,993 --> 00:14:58,395
And he has
terrible taste in music.

424
00:14:58,495 --> 00:15:00,098
Do you two
not care that your children

425
00:15:00,099 --> 00:15:01,201
are about to die?

426
00:15:01,335 --> 00:15:02,571
Do you not care
that your mother

427
00:15:02,704 --> 00:15:04,374
was about to die of boredom?

428
00:15:07,948 --> 00:15:09,384
This is real, Mom.

429
00:15:09,484 --> 00:15:11,121
If Athena keeps winning,
she's going to get the city.

430
00:15:11,222 --> 00:15:14,528
And then it's bye-bye,
Goddess Queen.

431
00:15:16,933 --> 00:15:18,236
Stupe,
my silly little fantasy

432
00:15:18,336 --> 00:15:19,939
is going to get us both drowned.

433
00:15:20,039 --> 00:15:22,277
It could be worse. See?

434
00:15:25,818 --> 00:15:27,822
This boat is too strong for me.

435
00:15:27,955 --> 00:15:30,460
I'll place it over here
near this island.

436
00:15:35,069 --> 00:15:36,305
We made it?

437
00:15:36,405 --> 00:15:38,209
What a turn of luck.
Interesting.

438
00:15:38,342 --> 00:15:40,681
The Kraken doesn't live
in that part of the sea.

439
00:15:40,815 --> 00:15:42,216
Almost as interesting

440
00:15:42,350 --> 00:15:44,421
as a sudden storm
in the middle of summer.

441
00:15:44,556 --> 00:15:46,092
And if you ever mess
with my family again,

442
00:15:46,192 --> 00:15:49,464
you'll be found
in a very interesting way.

443
00:15:49,599 --> 00:15:50,834
Goodbye.

444
00:15:50,934 --> 00:15:52,605
Finally.

445
00:15:52,738 --> 00:15:53,839
One final bet.

446
00:15:53,840 --> 00:15:54,976
Your son
is heading up that mountain

447
00:15:55,109 --> 00:15:56,311
to pick some dumb flower.

448
00:15:56,412 --> 00:15:58,549
If he succeeds,
I'll give you Athens.

449
00:15:58,550 --> 00:16:02,057
And if he fails,
I'm Goddess Queen of Krapopolis.

450
00:16:02,190 --> 00:16:03,526
Double your cities.

451
00:16:03,527 --> 00:16:06,131
Nope. Nice try.
But we're done here.

452
00:16:06,231 --> 00:16:08,001
You know what's better
than a vacation home?

453
00:16:08,168 --> 00:16:09,270
A vacation city.

454
00:16:09,371 --> 00:16:11,843
What? No!
Are you serious?

455
00:16:11,977 --> 00:16:13,212
We're in.
We're in.

456
00:16:13,312 --> 00:16:14,848
You're really bad parents.

457
00:16:14,949 --> 00:16:17,588
Ty, you told me
how important this is to you.

458
00:16:17,721 --> 00:16:19,057
And I'd be a bad sister

459
00:16:19,157 --> 00:16:21,028
if I let you stop now.

460
00:16:21,128 --> 00:16:22,464
But what if I can't do it?

461
00:16:22,598 --> 00:16:24,267
When you said
you were gonna sail today,

462
00:16:24,367 --> 00:16:26,906
I thought I was going
to have to plan your funeral.

463
00:16:27,039 --> 00:16:28,309
But you proved me wrong.

464
00:16:28,409 --> 00:16:30,380
And as mad
as being wrong makes me,

465
00:16:30,514 --> 00:16:33,085
it would make me even madder
if you quit.

466
00:16:33,185 --> 00:16:34,921
And I hate getting madder.

467
00:16:34,922 --> 00:16:36,893
It makes me so much more mad!

468
00:16:37,026 --> 00:16:38,730
I don't know
if you were pumping me up

469
00:16:38,830 --> 00:16:40,065
or threatening me,
but it worked.

470
00:16:40,166 --> 00:16:42,236
Thanks, Stupe.
I'm getting that flower.

471
00:16:42,337 --> 00:16:44,440
And shortly after,
Viscera's respect.

472
00:16:44,441 --> 00:16:46,311
Great!
I'll just toss you up there.

473
00:16:46,445 --> 00:16:48,249
Thanks.
What are you gonna do?

474
00:16:48,349 --> 00:16:50,053
I don't know.
I guess I could use
a little break.

475
00:16:50,186 --> 00:16:51,890
Maybe chum the water.
Fight a shark.

476
00:16:52,057 --> 00:16:53,760
Fun.
Now, when you said

477
00:16:53,861 --> 00:16:55,429
"toss me up there,"
did you mean...

478
00:17:00,674 --> 00:17:04,414
Ah!

479
00:17:06,953 --> 00:17:08,122
Oh! Damn it!

480
00:17:08,222 --> 00:17:14,836
What are we doing here, Mom?

481
00:17:19,077 --> 00:17:24,354
Bees!

482
00:17:24,488 --> 00:17:25,924
Cute.
I thought so.

483
00:17:26,057 --> 00:17:29,064
A hive of butterflies.

484
00:17:54,749 --> 00:17:56,586
OK...

485
00:17:59,057 --> 00:18:00,393
He's almost there.

486
00:18:00,493 --> 00:18:03,599
I can't wait to use your city
as a junk drawer.

487
00:18:07,474 --> 00:18:08,542
Ah!

488
00:18:08,543 --> 00:18:10,714
Come on, Ty.
What's he going to do?

489
00:18:22,036 --> 00:18:24,608
Huh?

490
00:18:26,979 --> 00:18:28,683
I know you gods
are up to something,

491
00:18:28,817 --> 00:18:30,420
and I refuse to be part of it.

492
00:18:30,554 --> 00:18:33,258
The pirates, the kraken,
that very helpful snake,

493
00:18:33,359 --> 00:18:36,965
the fart that turned out to be
a little more than just a fart.

494
00:18:36,966 --> 00:18:38,603
I did this for my own reasons

495
00:18:38,703 --> 00:18:41,976
and, as such, I can also
not do it for my own reasons.

496
00:18:42,076 --> 00:18:43,845
Good-bye.

497
00:18:43,846 --> 00:18:45,216
Oh, what the hell?

498
00:18:45,349 --> 00:18:47,020
He didn't do it. I win.

499
00:18:47,153 --> 00:18:49,592
Oh, come on.
He chose not to do it.

500
00:18:49,692 --> 00:18:51,830
We win.
You all lose!

501
00:18:51,997 --> 00:18:55,537
Because we treated our own son
as a puppet to make petty bets?

502
00:18:55,637 --> 00:18:58,176
No!
Well, yes. That, too.

503
00:18:58,309 --> 00:19:01,247
But mostly because earlier
I placed this bet.

504
00:19:01,248 --> 00:19:02,450
I bet that Ty would figure out

505
00:19:02,551 --> 00:19:04,053
that you all
were messing with him

506
00:19:04,154 --> 00:19:05,423
and do something pointless
and crazy.

507
00:19:05,557 --> 00:19:07,561
Whoa.
The odds on that one.

508
00:19:07,695 --> 00:19:09,198
Yep.
I know, my brother.

509
00:19:09,298 --> 00:19:10,801
That's why I picked him
in the first place.

510
00:19:10,934 --> 00:19:12,236
Athena, time to cash out.

511
00:19:12,336 --> 00:19:14,007
I'm only honoring this
because I want Shlub

512
00:19:14,107 --> 00:19:15,977
to come back
and destroy your lives again.

513
00:19:15,978 --> 00:19:17,480
Fat chance, cheater.

514
00:19:17,614 --> 00:19:18,982
Did I mention high rollers

515
00:19:18,983 --> 00:19:20,687
get two free tickets
to the buffet?

516
00:19:20,820 --> 00:19:22,524
There's lobster tail.

517
00:19:22,691 --> 00:19:23,760
Well, I'm in.

518
00:19:23,860 --> 00:19:25,697
After all, we're rich now.

519
00:19:25,797 --> 00:19:27,500
Did you just say we?

520
00:19:42,597 --> 00:19:44,334
Congrats, Ty.
You're a real sailor.

521
00:19:44,467 --> 00:19:45,604
No, I'm not.

522
00:19:45,771 --> 00:19:47,373
All I did
was get batted around by gods,

523
00:19:47,473 --> 00:19:48,943
and I didn't even
get the flower.

524
00:19:49,043 --> 00:19:50,245
Batted around by gods

525
00:19:50,345 --> 00:19:51,983
is what sailing's all about.

526
00:19:52,116 --> 00:19:53,319
And as for the flower...

527
00:19:53,419 --> 00:19:54,854
You picked me one?
Yeah.

528
00:19:54,855 --> 00:19:56,458
While you were making your way
down the mountain,

529
00:19:56,593 --> 00:19:58,095
I went up
and grabbed it for you.

530
00:19:58,195 --> 00:19:59,464
Lot easier to climb that thing

531
00:19:59,565 --> 00:20:01,434
when stuff
isn't turning into each other

532
00:20:01,535 --> 00:20:03,874
all
willy-nilly-nilly-willy-dilly.

533
00:20:04,007 --> 00:20:06,645
And if you're me, obviously.
Thanks, Stupe.

534
00:20:06,646 --> 00:20:09,685
Ty.
Viscera.

535
00:20:09,785 --> 00:20:10,854
Is this you?

536
00:20:10,954 --> 00:20:12,257
What?

537
00:20:12,357 --> 00:20:14,460
Just
a standard thing sailors say.

538
00:20:14,461 --> 00:20:16,264
Is this you?

539
00:20:16,364 --> 00:20:17,768
Sailor stuff.

540
00:20:17,935 --> 00:20:19,403
So, how did it go?
Ah, it was nothing.

541
00:20:19,404 --> 00:20:22,310
Pirates, storm,
kraken, the uzhe.

542
00:20:22,410 --> 00:20:23,947
And I did it all for this.

543
00:20:24,080 --> 00:20:25,282
Is that a Gavdos flower?

544
00:20:25,283 --> 00:20:27,220
Yes.
And I want you to have it.

545
00:20:27,320 --> 00:20:29,157
No. Seriously?

546
00:20:29,291 --> 00:20:31,261
Aw, thanks, friend.

547
00:20:31,395 --> 00:20:34,434
Enjoy the kebab.

548
00:20:34,535 --> 00:20:36,171
Friend.
Could be worse.

549
00:20:36,272 --> 00:20:38,175
I have sex
with a lot of my friends.

550
00:20:38,275 --> 00:20:40,245
And a lot of my enemies.

551
00:20:40,379 --> 00:20:42,316
I'm doing all right.

552
00:20:51,401 --> 00:20:52,704
Come here often?

553
00:20:52,804 --> 00:20:53,673
Oh, definitely.

554
00:20:53,807 --> 00:20:55,409
Though I don't want
everyone to know.

555
00:20:55,510 --> 00:20:57,513
I like to keep a low profile.

556
00:20:57,514 --> 00:20:59,618
Oh, yes.
I can do that.

557
00:20:59,718 --> 00:21:02,223
Hmm. I'm going
to grab us some drinks.

558
00:21:02,323 --> 00:21:04,761
Care to watch my stack?

559
00:21:04,895 --> 00:21:06,297
I would be honored.

560
00:21:06,298 --> 00:21:08,503
Ooh, you dirty devil.

561
00:21:08,603 --> 00:21:09,939
Mm-mm-mm.

562
00:21:10,039 --> 00:21:11,575
You're a lucky man, Shlub.

563
00:21:11,709 --> 00:21:12,978
Can I get you a drink?

564
00:21:13,078 --> 00:21:15,884
No, thank you.
My wife is grabbing some.

565
00:21:15,984 --> 00:21:18,054
I beg your pardon?

566
00:21:23,800 --> 00:21:25,603
You don't think
we're getting too complicated

567
00:21:25,704 --> 00:21:28,408
with these little sex games,
do you?

568
00:21:28,510 --> 00:21:30,881
Hey, less talking, more...

569
00:21:31,081 --> 00:21:32,551
Did you get any of that?

570
00:21:34,922 --> 00:21:36,592
Bento.